Current Pain for Future Glory

I have a rather diabolical auto-immune disease. It attacks my spine, my internal organs, my eyes, and seems to be currently spreading to my ankles. The main 'goal' of this disease is to turn my ligaments and tendons to bone. The pain can be breathtaking. There is no cure. There are treatments to slow it down, but those can come with their own side effects.

I am so grateful to Jesus that AS OF YET I have never shaken my fists at the heavens, crying out "WHY ME?". I have been aware since I was a little girl that the default of this world of ours is a bad one. The default is suffering and shattering pain. The default is death. Anything above that is an upgrade!

However, on the days this pain takes the breath out of my body, I struggle to see how Jesus is using me. What possibly is my purpose? What can my purpose be for my incredible husband, my loving children, while I am laying in the fetal position in my bed, unable to move for fear of more pain?

I fear that in our 'Western' society we put so much weight on 'usefulness'. What am I bringing to the table? Money? Work? Chores? Taxi-ing the family all over the place at the very least? Cooking nutritious and home made meals? SURELY! But...no! I cannot! Not when I am immobilized and suffering.

We are the first society wants to chuck.

And yet...not only is there sanctification in suffering (PRAISE YOUR NAME, Yahuah!) but we have the promise of future glory.

So when I am folded up in bed, in such insane pain, I absolutely know His faithfulness to me: Firstly, His pain is incomparable! Secondly, He is with me. Thirdly, what an incredible opportunity I have to be a great testimony to my children. Finally:

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy

to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

Romans 8:18 KJV

And to that...I cling.